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Author Topic: Weird situation with

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Posts: 18

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2011-05-30 2-21-45-

Weird situation with Can anyone help? I'm a Divorced mother of x which I share custody x/x with their dad. Our divorce was final a few years ago. I am now married with a new to a wonderful husband. All the are great together; except for my oldest son. He's x years old and is suppose to come over every other week just like my other . He refuses to go and I haven't spent any time with him in x years. He only comes when its a holiday like Christmas because he knows he's getting gifts. He minipulates both parents. I went back to court to have a contempt order because he does not see me and his father allows him to make up his own mind. The father even goes to the extreme of "rewarding" him for not coming to see me. The court ordered we go to counseling. It doesn't help. What should I do? There are a lot of details, but is too much to type for now. Basiy, feeding off his dad he now es me "bitch" and wishes I was dead. I just want to slap him, but I know it's not right. So I smile and say, "I hope to see you soon and I love you." What's a mother to do?
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Posts: 42

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2011-07-08 6-48-32-

can you prove the dad is interfering.. ...with visitation? Your son is ALMOST to the age where he can make those kind of decisions. Almost, but not quite. Maybe the boy has a problem with your new husband and half brother. Maybe he doesn't share your view of how "wonderful" it all is. You need to spend time with just him. Go pick him up, REGULARLY and take him for an outing with only you two. Don't wait for him to come to you. You've got some fences to mend.
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  • ballard

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    Posts: 17

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    2011-12-23 19-42-38

    x is the age he makes those decisions and this is not almost to that age. You are all over this forum giving questionable advice. What is your expertise in these matters? OP, take the father back to court for contempt and parental alienation.
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  • lunny

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    Posts: 19

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    2012-03-09 13-41-33

    sorry to disagree (not really) at x, the is no longer a . There are no enforceable orders for an adult to visit a parent. the courts will often ask a MINOR if they have a preference in which home they want to reside. This doesn't guarantee anything but the court will take it into consideration when deciding such things. my expertise, MF...Been there and done that.
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  • corell

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    Posts: 29

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    2012-11-05 16-05-04

    Exactly, RESIDE We are talking about visitation here, not custody. A can decide to no longer visit a parent per court order once that reaches the age of majority, not before.
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    Posts: 50

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    2013-01-01 7-52-22-

    That's not what you said though You clearly stated that this is almost at the age where HE can DECIDE for himself whether to visit dad or not. That is wrong. He cannot make any such decision until he's x.
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  • alcina

    Posts: 16

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    2013-11-20 10-11-05

    ahhh, bullshit He can decide what he wants anytime he freakin wants to. The question is rather if that decision bears any legal weight and can be enforceable. He obviously has already decided that he doesn't want to spend time at his mothers house. (Not the dad's house) Now, can the courts force him to go? I wonder what mechanism would be required to do that. If she has proof that the father is obfuscating the visitation, then she has recourse. The courts leave visitation open to renegotiation through updated parent plans. Things change and the courts allow for redrawing of these plans to reflect same. Should we now discuss your failure to understand that x is the age of maturation and that all support orders, etc cease to be in effect? Are do you want to gloss over that?
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    Posts: 54

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    2014-08-20 19-41-34

    Because orders cease to exist at the age of majority is exactly why that's when the can make their own decisions. Get it??? No, the courts cannot force him to go, but they can force the custodial parent to force him and if they refuse, they can and will be held in contempt. I've even seen many times when the CP lost custody just because of this. You may be BTDT, but I have legal experience in more thanstate as it regards to custody and visitation. When I had x year old ren, they often didn't want to go to school. Do you think I'd let them make that decision for themselves? Only the court can decide when a must visit a parent, NOT THE ...EVER. BTW, just for you edification. Support orders do not automatiy cease to exist when a reaches age x. Often parents are required to continue support throughout college. Also, since it's apparent you're uninformed, support never stops at age x in NY. The age of majority in NY is x and support continues through then. (However, since this isn't a support issue, I have to question why you brought that up.)
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    2015-08-25 8-47-11-

    anything else you want to ask?
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  • hoeksema

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    Posts: 44

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    2015-09-04 11-21-17

    Listen ... x might be the legal age ... but if you've got teenagers, you should know that by about x the idea of "forcing" them to visit an estranged parent is usually not worth the effort for anybody concerned. I'm confused by the court ordering counselling instead of a solid ruling, so as the OP stated ... there must be a lot more to this story. I agree that mom and the x-year-old should try to spend some time together, but if he's basiy refused to see her since he was x ... this might be irreconcilable until he grows up a lot more. The thing to always remember is that do grow up. At some point, they will be able to process what happened ... they'll start to put the pieces together about who was manipulating, who was using him, who had his best interest at heart, etc. The truth comes out eventually, and the parent who's played games will find that being judged by their own kid(s) is the worst thing that could happen to them. Just a heads up to those of you who think you can use the and get away with it.
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  • brinks

    Posts: 45

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    2015-12-05 15-48-44

    Who's the residential parent?
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