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Pages: novice bottom seeking advice [1]
Author Topic: Novice bottom seeking advice
birkeland

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Posts: 3

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2011-01-30 2-44-24-

novice bottom seeking advice And when I say novice I mean, never have played with anyone before. I have danced lightly around the edges of BDSM in past relationships, but when bottoming I always got to a place that I could not cross over. Basiy rage came up for me and I refused to take the simplest orders. Not much fun. Well, that was a while ago and I am more ready to trust...myself...another. Here is the deal. My room mate of 4 months is a top and we have been casually discussing BDSM stuff. Not specifiy about us playing, but I think that could be a possibility. I like the idea of playing with someone I already know and trust, more than a stranger. But this close to the home? Some part of me thinks it would be great, if she were willing, to have someone close by to process anything that might come up for me - she has indicated that she is ok with processing and has done a lot of it in the past. Another part of me says, oh no, too close to home. Maybe if we could create a safe space plan for afterwards? Not sure how I would do that. Any ideas?
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kiernan

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Posts: 4

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2011-01-31 20-53-38

Sounds to me like you have a pretty good grip on the situation. So I think as long as you continue talking and planning and setting boundaries it could be a good thing. Do you want to have a relationship with this Top? Or would it be more a casual play time thing?
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huse

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Posts: 13

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2011-02-01 12-59-04

actually, I am sort of ambivilant about relation ship with her. We are different in a lot of ways. Does not have some non-negotiable qualities that I seek in LTR partners. This, to me, seems like it could be a plus for this situation. Thanks for your reply.
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stetter

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Posts: 6

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2011-02-01 18-39-08

Not a problem I am a top...and you need to have a top you know and trust so that you can let go of all control and not worry that they will go too far. BDSM is all about faith in another's control and knowledge of your pleasure and pain. This is the only way to overcome the rage and get past that point, but the top must not forget to please you, it's a co-dependency, where you can trust this person to use and abuse you sexually, and not like a wild animsl
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mcquown

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Posts: 3

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2011-02-03 5-48-55-

thanks for your reply
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