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Pages: it appears that Ms Self-loathing of yesterday [1]
Author Topic: It appears that Ms Self-loathing of yesterday
montfort

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2011-01-30 12-21-23

it appears that Ms Self-loathing of yesterday and the response string has been Isled...that is probably for the good. However, is it worth discussing whether there is still the pressure to conform to a modal lesbian type? As someone said yesterday "that is so 1988". Is it?
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berntsen

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2011-01-31 14-12-29

Model lesbian type? Please explain, I have only been a lesbian 46 YEARS and did not know there was a model lesbian type.
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georgienne

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2011-01-31 19-33-01

maybe the modal is the model but I am not saying that. In the 70's and 80's, here in Madison at least, there was pressure to conform to an androgyne-type, to separate from men in social and political endeavors and to prefer a subset of recreational activities. Failure to conform was often met with disapproval and challenges to one's fezbian lemonism.
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hanneman

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2011-02-01 3-52-17-

the pressure is your own no makes you do anything. You are responsible for your own actions. and how you live your life. I am who i am cause thats the way my higher power made me. no makes me do anything.
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mchale

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2011-02-02 12-39-27

true but social pressures are real and we are conditioned to care about them. Deciding to go against them is easier for some than others, and even learning you have a choice takes time.
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ziobro

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2011-02-02 15-37-53

no doubt, and agreed. but to say "someone," makes you feel a certain way, no longer registers for me. thats like me saying, "someone made me drink," isn't true at all.
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heringer

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2011-02-03 21-01-37

agreed, and me either.. but when you are young and coming out and not accepted by most feels a stronger need to bond to their group... and adhere to social pressures to be like them. This isnt even just a gay thing.
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urman

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2011-02-04 6-07-06-

could it be fear? i know it was for me. wouldn't it be easier if people just tapped into some sort of Spitural power, and have some faith in themselves. I'm not scared anymore. I'm not religious at all, but I definitly believe in a Higher Power source, or "may the force be with you," and that, even single, makes me feel less alone and less worried about what society thinks of me, even in my own gay community. I wish i'd have known that when i was younger.
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  • haldeman

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    2011-02-19 18-59-47

    of course there are other models like victoria secret models... there are all kinds of people out there, that could be typi straight; but thats a wrong thing to think too. there are as many lesbians out there; and its a marketed delusion, to think there are "types," of us walking around. we are out and proud, professionals, mom's, police officers, florists, artists. its not about what you wear either. its about what makes you happy, how you are, whats inside. not your birkenstocks. i like my lightsaber though.
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    ari

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    2011-02-22 0-44-05-

    Back in the early 90s, I toured with a theater group and went to lesbian bars in quite a few cities. It was the funniest thing, the crowds in each city (or at least in the bars) had its own style. I can't remember them all, but in Milwaukee, the women were wearing gold hoop earrings and wire rim glasses. In Orlando, they were all wearing vests. The herd mentality is strong, isn't it?
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  • kosanovich

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    2011-05-03 0-48-37-

    Nah... I don't buy into that logic.
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  • loscalzo

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    2011-07-24 9-48-45-

    Or the easier you want it to be to be identified by your kind?
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    markee

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    2012-01-10 12-00-56

    That may be... I think it is more about the person than where they are from.
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  • pratt

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    2012-02-19 13-27-22

    back in the seventies lesbians in bars wore blue jean jackets as identification , if the jacket was buttoned up then they were not looking , but if the jacket was open they were looking . simple but effective . THIS WAS IN DALLAS
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  • fretz

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    2012-03-10 14-16-19

    And pray tell, freespirit... HOW DO YOU KNOW THIS?
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  • sligar

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    2012-12-24 23-28-42

    Musta stopped running....!
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    steven

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    2013-11-06 12-23-18

    it just gets curiouser and curiouser...
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    Zygmunt

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    2014-01-16 13-18-39

    I was there
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    moon

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    2014-08-31 21-00-14

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  • fortini

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    2015-08-26 18-25-22

    I believe it, as I was told by a gay friend that guys wore the button up jeans, with a button undone to signify (I'm just relaying the details here...). This was in Dallas also.
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    roher

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    2016-03-29 2-36-50-

    Not in my life there isn't! My observation has been that as gays and lesbians are increasingly accepted, the less pressure is to be 'in your face!' about our identity, especially in more progressive areas. On Sunday, I had brunch with x other lesbians of a 'certain age' and I'd say that zero of us conformed with the mullet-sporting, flannel-wearing stereotype.
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