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Pages: Story/Question/Advice [1]
Author Topic: Story/Question/Advice

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2011-01-30 13-00-10

Story/Question/Advice Last year in May I posted a ad in the section, I had well over 30 responses, replied to only about 10, and went out on 5 dates. None of these people were really what i was looking for, and didnt much interest me. Few weeks after the ad a late response came in from a girl who didn't currently live in the state, we continued this email tag daily for about a month till she came to Miami in the summer. We met and instantly hit it off, so much so we spent every minute possible together, she left, and then came back. On this visit however the time apart made us grow fonder, our relationship escalated to a more emotional and sensual state and I fell in love, a few days before leaving the city again she tells me she loves me. So now we are people who have entered the commitment of love, but unfortunately love in different places at the moment, as i take a look at my future a relationship with her would never be possible, for more than just a few reasons. Everyday that she is not here i hurt more and more, i fell so hard for this woman, she is just so unbelievable, unlike any other i have ever met. Although there is no doubt in my mind that she loves me, the distance and lack of communication is brutal. And like i said we probably can never be... so... my question here is should i just move on? I know that i probably wont find anyone just like her, but i know that there are other people out there and bound to be some more that i will be attracted to. or should i stay seated on this ride of love and just let love and life run its course.
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2011-01-31 19-42-42

why are you in a rush to move on? I get that you may not want to spend a lot of energy on a long distance thing that you feel won't work. But do you mean head out to sobe and "meet the ladies" cause this won't work kind of move on? Whatever you don't string this girl on if you are out there dating. If you love her tell her this is not working so she is not blind sided when you fall in love with a local girl.
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2011-01-31 20-25-49

It's possible that the distance is precisely what makes her so very, very perfect and lovable. It's the quality of unobtainium.
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2011-02-01 1-00-48-

One of the most radioactive of all the substances on the periodic table of emotions.
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    2011-02-01 13-05-27

    I'm wondering if one of them's married.
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    2011-02-01 21-05-56

    Why the lack of communication? Phone s, letters, e-mails, planned visits...I'm not sure I'm understanding why this seems so black and white and why you're feeling you have to make a decision about it~ Daily phone s just to say "hello, how was your day?" or letters and e-mails are an amazing way to nurture and nourish a schedules to match, no traffic to fight...yes, it may not seem ideal but distance and geography are not hindrances to intimacy unless chooses to see it that way~ Intimacy...into me you see...when there are no hugs, no eye contact, no physical presence as methods to communicate, what is left are each other's voices and articulating out loud one's feelings~ It can be a good thing or a bad thing...if decides that physical presence is what defines a relationship, then obviously a long-distance relationship won't survive...if decides that intimacy can be developed over distance via phone s, letters, e-mails and voicing one's longing, hope, excitement and the richness found in that friendship, wow!...THAT is amazing and certainly a firm foundation built for when people then have the opportunity to see each other in person~
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    2011-02-03 12-18-46

    lack of communication I am in love with a woman and we had been on a roller coaster. I got sick 3 months after we met after emails for 3 months. We have a weird sense of humor. Take fake rats out to dinner etc. I found she is not comfortable with a lesbian identity and was suppose to go to therapy but put it off till spring when warmer. She loves me but doesn't know if she can handle being identified as a lesbian and I do look butch and thats what she wants. I am not a public displayer so I wouldn't affect her if her friends happened in at movie or dinner. She thinks my mom who I live with is a controller because her mom was. We only email for now. No s, no text etc. Its giving us time to sort through the things we must take care of to go on. She wants me to move on my own and I would like it if I trusted she'd not leave me. Being separated is hurting for us. We miss another terribly. She teaches and I am in nursing so we have to be careful. She is ashamed to admit her identity and I don't care if she is out or not. I said that is why we can go on trips together and feel normal but not be comfortable in our area. I miss her but don't know what to do but wait on her. Wonder if I should. We are not looking for anyone so in meantime we email.
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    Hero Member
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    2011-02-03 17-58-33

    too good to be true probably is. What you have there is a D vacation relationship. Enjoy it for what it is. If you get too absorbed, when it ends it'll suck. Know it's temporary. I know.
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    2011-02-04 12-10-58

    with stars in her eyes I "feel" you.
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