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Pages: What can I say to make it better? [1]
Author Topic: What can I say to make it better?

Posts: 8

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2011-01-30 15-21-46

What can I say to make it better? My boyfriend and I have been together for a little over years. We were in a long distance relationship and he moved here a little less than a month ago. Last week I found out that I am pregnant. While I am having a hard time dealing with this, he doesn't want to talk about it. I know that he is upset and that he scared, but what can I say to make it better. I am definitely going to have this baby. He said hes not leaving but I know that he does not want me to have the baby. I am trying to be fair, but I do not agree with abortion and I feel that I am in a place in my life where I can handle this. I just don't want to do it al Has anyone been through a similar situation? Could you please advise? Thanks!
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Posts: 7

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2011-01-31 17-12-26

Have you looked into adoption? The baby could have parents who really want her or him.
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  • venning

    Posts: 2

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    2011-02-01 12-08-37

    This is not an option I know that he is here for me
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    Posts: 2

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    2011-02-02 4-05-22-

    Parenting is about the , not you. At least talk to some agencies before you decide.
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    Posts: 8

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    2011-02-02 12-04-50

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  • Ninette

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    2011-02-04 3-29-30-

    Why not? Talking to an agency doesn't mean you HAVE to do anything. Like my DH says, "Information is free. It's the decision that costs you."
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  • kalter

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    2011-02-04 13-09-47

    How old are you?
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    Posts: 16

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    2011-02-04 13-28-42

    Why does it matter? I am old enough to have a . I am well into my 20s and It shouldnt be any concern of yours.
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  • choma

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    2011-02-04 14-23-18

    A 9yo who's ovulating is old enough to have a . But your point is taken. But you must understand that we don't know if you're a 16yo posting this, or 36yo, until you tell us. Huge difference.
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  • hauch

    Posts: 15

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    2011-02-13 11-25-31

    omg i cant believe there are people on here just typing stupid shit and being bitches or assholes.......i understand here u r coming from.....stuff happens and i feel for you.......need to talk??? i will not judge u and have agood listening ear......
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    2011-02-18 0-23-15-

    Funny, you post on a public message board presumably seeking advice, or at least wanting to talk about your situation, and then the first time someone asks a question, say, "It shouldn't be any concern of yours." Make up your mind already! Do you want input or not? LOL
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  • rickett

    Posts: 6

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    2011-03-16 1-45-34-

    you asked us for advice I know you asked only for how to make it "better" for your SO. But don't limit yourself to hearing ONLY what you want to hear. Lots of wisdom in here, if you'll participate and listen with an objective mind. Don't just shut down every response you don't like.
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    Posts: 32

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    2011-07-05 3-08-05-

    agencies need , they're biased our are adopted, we also know single parents who are launching their , case by case rules, in my opinion.
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    Posts: 8

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    2011-09-24 18-45-01

    ^agree^ My first reaction when I read the OP's post was irritation. I never had the opportunity to become pregnant, no matter how much I wanted to. So when someone IS blessed this way, I feel jealous, and angry for them even considering abortion. OP doesn't realize how lucky she is.
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  • yuan-tsa

    Posts: 63

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    2012-04-23 12-14-10

    while i understand your perspective it can be hard to appreciate how lucky you are when the pregnancy is unplanned and the partner is not supportive. I'm sure she doesn't feel lucky and instead feels nervous and frightened, which is totally natural.
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    Posts: 30

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    2013-02-11 16-09-31

    I didn't say my reaction was logical. It wasn't. I realize she's probably scared and overwhelmed by all the emotions, and worried about how to handle this while keeping her brand-new relationship together. Sometimes I'm reminded of a conversation I overheard once, shortly after my then-DH and I had adopted our baby boy. DS came from a crack-addicted mother, was malnourished, and we faced God-knows-what kind of emotional, physical, and mental challenges with this precious . We didn't care...we were so in love with this baby already. Anyway, I was standing in line at a C-store, behind a woman in her xth month of PG chatting with the clerk. Clerk asked if she knew whether it was a boy or girl. Woman answered, "No, but we don't care. All that matters is that the baby's healthy." Perfectly normal, happy response. But it pissed me off!!! WHAT? So if the baby's deformed, you don't want it because it's not HEALTHY? I bit my tongue, said nothing to diminish her joy, and gave myself a stern talking-to about judging people I don't know. Sorry, it's just a sore point with me... people blessed with pregnancy and birth, who go into panic-mode about it. Many, many couples would be overjoyed, but never get the chance. Life just ain't fair, I tell 'ya.
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  • crowl

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    2013-12-07 14-09-23

    i totally understand thanks for sharing your story. We all come in here with our own baggage and experiences. I don't blame you for being sensitive about it given your story.
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  • doxy

    Posts: 64

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    2014-09-19 3-57-45-

    How long have you known? When did you tell him about it? I'm wondering if you had put more thought into this, and he hasn't had as much time to sort his feelings. Probably best if you just give him some time to "warm up" to the idea. Pressuring him to talk while he's still in shock will only make it worse.
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    2015-07-11 17-57-04

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    Posts: 58

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    2015-09-29 16-35-44

    You can't say anything to make it better he may need time to adjust to the idea - this is a HUGE life-changing surprise (though he should have known that unprotected sex could lead to babies).
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