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Pages: Not sure how to handle this [1]
Author Topic: Not sure how to handle this

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2011-01-30 3-51-27-

Not sure how to handle this I know this is going to be long and I apologize for that but wanted to give you some background info. So I have been having some issues with my BF with no affection what so ever and even worse when we head to the bedroom. When we go to bed he puts the dog, a pillow and as many blankets as he can between us. If by chance we did touch he flinched away like I had burned him. Needless to say I asked him what was going on. His reply was that he would like to see me lose weight (note here I am smaller than when we met, I am not HUGE and he is no skinny minney himself) and that maybe he was depressed because he wasn't working and such. The depression thing completely understandable. Anyway I took some housesitting jobs that have kept me away from the house for approx 3 weeks and in that time I had no phone s no e-mails no nothing from him. (Another note here no I didn't him but I was trying to prove a point to myself) So I made an executive decision and rented an apartment in town figuring this was a done deal. The night I rented the apartment he finally ed and acted like nothing was out of the ordinary like we hadn't not spoke for 3 weeks. I feel like there hasn't been anything there for awhile but when he ed he acted like nothing was amiss or wrong or anything. I can't live with someone who isn't attracted to me I feel like I have just been there to clean the house and do the dishes. I told him I wanted to be his gf not his roommate or maid and I got no response what so ever. So I feel justified in what I did but... still feel kind of bad. Anyway my question here is how do I tell him about the apartment and get my things without causing a ruckus or any hurt feelings? I still care about him but can't live like that anymore.
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2011-02-01 12-24-06

You seem a lot more concerned about his feelings than he is of yours. Just tell him that you don't want to be with someone who isn't attracted to you. Then get your stuff and go.
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2011-02-03 1-02-10-

Send him what you just wrote.
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2011-02-03 8-01-23-

Yes- tell him exactly what you told us.
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Posts: 7

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2011-02-04 11-56-31

Not sure if his feelings will be hurt, or if he will cause a ruckus. He sounds distant and I'm not seeing any passion that would cause outrage or pain for him. Just be honest, sit him down, and tell him this is not what you are looking for--you have rented an apartment and are leaving. Have a plan already in place for that day to get your things out. Then go find a real relationship! Or simply bask in not having him around making you feel less than what you deserve. Enjoy your new apartment. This sounds like it was awful for you.
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2011-02-25 3-33-40-

he may come out of his shell for such an event I'd stick to the seperate living arrangements, even if you want to see if he evolves. Will you be fine either way? If he just says "sounds good"?
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  • wainer

    Posts: 54

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    2011-05-25 8-11-33-

    Yes I will be fine I am actually looking kind of forward to this being on my own. I haven't lived alone for a VERY long time. I guess I kind of expect him to say sounds good but then I get nervous because he is so apathetic and doesn't seem to care. Thanks for your help in this is hasn't been a very good experience and it definitely isn't the way I am looking to spend the rest of my life.
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    2011-09-13 5-04-23-

    Good for you and good luck!
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  • brinton

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    2012-04-10 7-46-12-

    Thanks guys I am going to make the most of this. And it will be great I think once I get my things out of there. I am not looking forward to that as I am not sure what to expect but it will all work out.
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    2013-01-29 5-22-44-

    how long was the relationship?
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  • prigge

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    2013-06-01 14-58-46

    Well at least your taking steps forward continue in that direction. Be honest, tell him that for a while you havent been feeling a connection and the fact that hes no longer attracted to you bothers you. So you decided to get your own place because you cant live like that anymore and that he DIDNT you for x weeks and you thought it was over....
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  • merwin

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    2013-06-04 0-31-53-

    can't live with someone who isn't attracted tome You print off what you wrote here- -and let him read it.
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  • spates

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    2014-03-13 10-26-24

    This is a courageous move. Good for you for doing what had to be d How do you tell him? There isn't any easy way. Your least concern should be *his* feelings. His feelings are not anything important in your life now. Just politely tell him goodbye, it's been nice knowing you. No drama, no zingers. Nothing to set him off. The first thing that came into my mind reading your post was that he does not love you. I only know my own case for sure. The woman I love gained, I don't know, probably somewhere between x and x pounds, and my love for her didn't stray from its upward trajectory at all. It cooled my ardor for her in bed a little, but not enough to where she and I weren't getting our needs met. So in my opinion, this guy is a cold fish for you. Would you have trouble telling a fish that you were moving into another bowl?
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    2015-07-05 18-23-52

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